BREAKING: Ash Ketchum Arrested with Entire Squad — Mugshots Included
It was supposed to be a normal day in Pallet Town—just Ash Ketchum, age 10 (for the last 25 years), wandering the region unsupervised with a yellow rodent and a backpack full of dreams. But things took a turn when Officer Jenny received multiple reports of “suspicious behavior” involving one severely electrocuted vending machine, three melted trash cans, and one traumatized Jigglypuff who “just wanted to sing.” Authorities arrived on the scene to find Ash and his crew mid-battle with a vending machine that allegedly "looked at Pikachu funny."
According to eyewitnesses, the chaos began when Ash ran out of Poképuffs and tried to "negotiate" with the vending machine using Squirtle's Water Gun, Bulbasaur’s Vine Whip, and Charmander’s tail. Pikachu, being the wildcard he is, escalated the situation by delivering a Thunderbolt so intense it knocked out power in three towns and temporarily reanimated a fossil display in the local museum. Charmander was seen roasting marshmallows over the wreckage before being tased by Officer Jenny. Again.
Ash attempted to claim “It was all part of training,” but witnesses noted he shouted, “You can’t arrest me, I have all eight badges!” as he was being cuffed. Pikachu headbutted the squad car in protest, Squirtle tried to squirt his way through the bars (unsuccessfully), and Bulbasaur attempted to photosynthesize aggressively. Charmander, according to police, tried to bribe the officer with a rare candy.
They’re all currently being held in a holding cell until Professor Oak comes to bail them out—again. Officer Jenny has confirmed that Ash is banned from all vending machines in the Kanto region indefinitely. See the exclusive mugshots below, complete with Charmander smirking, Squirtle doing the classic Squirtle Squad pose, and Pikachu looking like he definitely did it. Ash? Ash just looks confused.
